


but i'm only human, just a little human

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Louis gets lice, M/M, but then Liam fucks his brains out after he's lice-free so, liam also gets lice so, yeah gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:57:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3192665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Bloody little mongrels. I come home for one fucking visit and come back with a head of lice. Disgusting."</p><p>or where Liam and Louis delouse their heads and kind of bang in the shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but i'm only human, just a little human

**Author's Note:**

> it's disgusting, but whatever. it happens to everyone. even the rich and famous. probably. not like i would know. 
> 
> i am neither rich nor famous so. 
> 
> this is a lot shorter than i'd intended, but i don't really care.
> 
> title from human by christina perri

"You know what, Liam?" Louis asks, legs propped up against the back of the couch.

He scratches at the place behind his ear again, groaning.  
"What?" Liam asks, sitting on the other couch, psychology book tucked against his knees.  
"I think I may have lice." Louis muses, scratching his head in various places. "The girls probably gave them to me when I visited last week. Come home for one bloody visit and leave with a head of lice."  
"Ew!" Liam cries, hands tucked against his head. "If you have them, then I probably do, too! I sleep in your bed while you're at work!"  
"You do _what_?" Louis asks, accusing and angry, but he doesn't really mean it.

Liam can do whatever he wants, honestly. He could've wanked in Louis' bed and Louis wouldn't have cared.

As grotesque as it sounds, Louis probably wouldn't have even changed the sheets.

Yeah, he's either gross or in love.

He hasn't decided yet.  
"I can't believe you gave me lice!" Liam hisses, scratching only his hairline heavily.  
"It's not proven yet, you moron." Louis rolls his eyes. "Come here. I'll check you and then you check me."  
"I can't believe you!" Liam grumbles, stalking over to Louis.

Louis sits up normally and Liam crouches between his legs.  
"This is disgusting, you know." Liam says, arms crossed over his chest as Louis deftly picks through his hair.  
"I know." Louis says, voice low and soft.

Liam's hair is softer than Louis could've ever imagined.

God, Louis is pretty sure he's dying.  
"Found one." Louis says, groaning as he watches the disgusting little mongrel behind Liam's ear.  
"Ew!" Liam cries, disgusted. "I'll check you now."

They switch spots and Louis is actually excited.

He gets to feel Liam's fingers in his hair.

Of course he'd love Liam's fingers somewhere else, but that probably won't ever happen.  
"Alrighty then. Let's begin, you dirty, dirty boy." Liam tsks and Louis freezes at his words.

 _Fuckfuckfuck_. He's fucked.

Louis casually--at least he _hopes_ it's casual--tucks his knees to his chest as Liam's fingers roam nimbly around his skull.

Liam tugs gently on strands of Louis' hair and Louis has to literally bite back a moan.

God, this was a bad, bad idea.

Probably his worst in his entire time of living.

Liam's fingers are soft on his scalp, down the back of his neck, against the short hairs at the nape of his neck, across the beginning of his hairline, and finally, the soft skin behind his ears.

Louis can't see Liam, is the thing. Doesn't know what he's going to do next, so when Liam tugs testingly on the hair above his ear, Louis involuntarily moans, dick hard in his pants.

Of course he knows he shouldn't, but he can't hold it back.

He regrets it as soon as it passes his lips.

Neither of them say anything, but Louis can feel how stiff Liam's body has become.  
"You've got 'em." Liam says finally. "A lot of them."

Louis stands up and scoots over to the phone.  
"I'll call my mom and you can go pick up some shampoo? From the store?" Louis says, already dialing his mother's number.  
"'Course. I'll be back soon."

Liam stands, pulls on his coat and is out of the door before Louis even puts the phone up to his ear.

Louis presses the heel of his hand against his eye, pressing the call button on the phone and listening to it ring.  
"Hello?" It's Lottie, Louis can tell.  
"Hey, Lotts, can I talk to mom? It's urgent, really." Louis sighs, scratching at his head.  
"Yeah, sure. Be right back."

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose, painfully aware of the fact that Liam might be disgusted by him.

For fuck's sake, he's never even told Liam about being gay!

This much be a huge fucking shock.

Louis is an idiot.  
"Lou? What's going on? Are you okay?" Jay says, voice drawn into what Louis calls mum-mode.  
"Liam just checked my hair...and I think you guys gave me lice. Which in turn gave Liam lice."  
"Oh, dear." Jay says, sighing. "Gonna have to cut the girls' hair, then. Dirty mongrels are hard to get rid of with long hair. Use _RID_. Heard it's the best."  
"Thanks. I just figured I'd tell you, you know, so the school doesn't." Louis sighs again, lost in the disparity that is moaning in front of his best-friend.  
"Thanks, love. Now tell me what's really wrong." Her voice is diplomatic, authoritarian.  
"Like...Liam was checking my hair...and I just...did something I shouldn't have." Louis shrugs.

He's not going to tell his mother that Liam's fingers gave him a boner. Like, no.

He'd rather die.  
"What'd you do? Liam's your best-friend. There's practically nothing you could do that would make him...not like you anymore." She says and Louis can practically see her shrugging.  
"Yeah, yeah. You're right." Better to give up than tell her about his sexual preferences. "Okay, mom. Gotta go shampoo the vermin out of my hair."  
"Bye, love. Call soon."

The line goes dead in his hand and he crashes down onto his couch, face in his hands.

He really fucked everything up.

He lays there, arm drawn across his eyes, hiding from his idiocy, until Liam returns.  
"I got, like, three different kinds? I got, like, _RID_ and the _Walmart_ brand and _Nix_ because I wasn't sure what one works best." Liam says, pushing the door open to their shared flat.  
Louis doesn't move his arm from over his eyes.  
" _RID_ , supposedly, works best. According to my mum." He says, still shrouded in the depressing darkness on the inside of his arm.  
"Okay, then." Liam says. "Come 'ere. I'll slather this stuff into your hair."

Louis wants to say no. But he just can't.

Offer's too good to resist.

Louis is such a pushover and he hates himself for it.

Liam sits on the couch and Louis sits between his legs again, knees drawn to his chest to avoid any visible signs of arousal.  
"It says this should stay on your hair for ten minutes and then be washed out thoroughly." Louis nods, hearing Liam open the bottle of shampoo. "Ooh! This is cold. Be forewarned."

And then Louis feels it. The slippery cold feeling of shampoo on his scalp. Smells the bitter, acrid stench of chemicals.

But he can only focus on Liam's fingers as they drag deftly through his hair, around his neck and ears.  
"You're gonna have to turn so I can get the front." Liam says and Louis complies.

They're face-to-face now as Liam massages the acrid-smelling liquid into Louis' bangs.

Louis stares into Liam's eyes, focused, determined. Pliant, under Liam's fingers. He leans forward involuntarily, the space between them shrinking until there's barely any at all.

Louis is so close and all of his common sense has left him.

He just wants to kiss Liam so _bad_ \--  
"Ow! Fuck!" Louis shouts, reaching up to wipe at his eye.

Of fucking course.  
"What happened?" Liam says, looking down Louis, concerned.  
"The bloody shampoo got in my eye." Louis says, running to the sink to clear the soap from it.

When he returns, Liam's sitting there innocently, twisting a bright red lice comb in his hands.  
"You good?" Liam asks, placing the comb onto the table.  
"Yeah. Want me to do you?" Louis says and he doesn't understand why Liam's face flushes until he rethinks his sentence. "Oh, _God_. Want me to shampoo your hair is what I meant."  
"Yeah, yeah." Liam says, a flitting smile on his lips.

He shuffles to sit on the floor and Louis slides over him, legs caging his shoulders.  
"Gonna be cold." Louis muses, pouring the clear liquid onto his hand.

He starts at the base of Liam's neck like the box says, working his way around to his ears. He grins mischievously to himself, grasping two handfuls and tugging lightly.

Liam shuffles a little, crossing his legs, but doesn't give anything away.

Fuck Louis, honestly.  
"Sorry." Louis apologizes, working the shampoo over the top of Liam's head. "Turn around. Gotta get that chunk of hair at the front."

Liam complies, turning around to face Louis with a grin.  
"You look ridiculous with your hair all foamy and plastered to your head."  
"Shut up. You look like a wet dog." Louis pouts, pouring more of the liquid onto his hand to massage into Liam's bangs.  
"I probably do." Liam chuckles. "At least it's endearing on you."

Louis smiles softly at that, fingers tucked deftly into the hair at the nape of Liam's neck.

How'd they get there?  
"It's only endearing on you, love." Louis says, nervous. "Only on you."  
"Oh, Lou." Liam says and then his mouth is Louis'.

Louis doesn't freeze up awkwardly or push Liam away. He just melts right into the kiss like he's supposed to. He tightens his grip on Liam's soapy hair, pulling Liam up over his lap.

Liam follows Louis, hand pressing softly into the side of Louis' neck when he settles.

Louis can't believe this is happening.

He's kissing his best-friend!

And he's so glad it's happening.

Louis presses his lips harder against Liam's, tugging hard on the longer pieces of hair at the crest of his forehead. Liam groans into Louis' mouth, tilting Louis' head up so he has access to his neck.

Liam nips at the skin and Louis lets a harsh breath past his lips as a loud, repetitious beeping sound plays through the room.

They pull apart, panting, and Liam groans.  
"Time to wash out this stuff." He says, smiling softly.  
"We could shower together?" Louis offers. "Preservation of water and all that."

Louis hasn't the barest of interests in saving water, honestly. He just wants to shower with Liam.

He figures that it's not the worst lie he's ever told.  
"Makes sense." Liam nods. "Let's do it."

Louis gets up, grabbing Liam's hand to tug him toward the bathroom.

;;

Liam can't fucking believe this is happening.

He's showering with Louis. Showering!

He's shaking with anticipation.

They enter the bathroom, the harsh fluorescent lights lighting the room, making Louis' skin paler than usual.

He's still beautiful.

The thought hits Liam hard.  
"My head's still itchy." He says instead of something dumb like _you look so pretty under these lights_ or _let's fuck_.

Though the latter isn't such a bad idea.  
"I think that's supposed to happen." Louis says, scratching above his ear. "The stuff's killing them and they're trying to survive by drinking our blood.  
"This is disgusting." Liam says, tugging his shirt over his head.  
"I think you've said that once or twice." Louis rolls his eyes, tugging his sweatpants off.

Liam swallows roughly, suddenly aware of how beautiful Louis' skin is.

How perfect he looks even under the shitty bathroom lights.

Liam steps out of his underwear, turning the shower on to a medium temperature.  
"No hogging the water." Louis says, serious.  
"I make no promises. This stuff's starting to burn." Liam thinks it's a figment of his imagination, but he can't be sure.

He climbs in first, nearest to the shower-head. He rinses the shampoo out, closing his eyes against the toxic bug killer.

He hears the shower door rattle and feels Louis step in, so much smaller than Liam. Liam grins to himself, scrubbing behind his ears.  
"Your butt is cute." Louis says, loud enough for Liam to here.

Liam bites his lip, cheeks red.  
"Yours is cuter." Liam finishes scrubbing his hair and turns to give Louis space.

Louis steps forward, hand dragging down Liam's chest.  
"Oops." Louis says, but it's so on purpose.

Liam both hates and loves him for it.

Liam watches Louis scrub the antiseptic-smelling foam from his hair as he scrubs himself with body wash.

When Louis is done, he grins at Liam.  
"Come 'ere." He says.

Liam steps forward, under the stream of water, to cage Louis against the wall.

The water runs down his back, but he ignores it, just looks at Louis while Louis looks back.  
"Kiss me." Louis says, the barest of whispers.

That's all it takes.

Liam leans in a presses his lips to Louis', mouth already open. The kiss rough and long, water dripping down their faces and onto their lips. Liam grips Louis' hips, fingers deliciously slippery against the warmth of Louis' skin.

Liam isn't an natural resources activist, but he's glad that he and Louis decided on sharing water.

Louis tangles his fingers in Liam's hair, tugging hard on the strands at the base of his neck.  
"God, Liam." Louis mumbles as Liam kisses down his neck, biting the skin softly.

Liam presses his hips against Louis', moaning against the skin of Louis' neck.  
"Fuck me," Louis moans. "Do it now."  
"Are you sure?" Liam asks, panting against the warm water running down his lips.  
"Definitely."

That's all the permission Liam needs as he grinds his hips down on Louis' again, dick achingly hard as he kisses Louis' mouth.

Louis tastes like tea and toothpaste, warm and pliant.

Liam drops a hand from Louis' hip, to wrap his fingers around Louis' dick, languidly wanking him as they kiss.

Louis groans into Liam's mouth and Liam swallows it with a grin.  
"Can't wait to fuck you," Liam says into Louis' mouth. "'ve been dreaming of this for weeks."  
"Me too." Louis pants, voice nearly inaudible over the water and the next moan. "I'm gonna--"  
"Okay." Liam says, draining his hand.

Louis growls at the loss of contact, eyes sharp despite almost coming.  
"Shh. D'you think we'll need lube?" Liam asks.

He's never really done...this with someone before.

Not shower sex at least.  
"I dunno." Louis mumbles back, hands reaching for Liam. "Just go for it."

Liam nods, kissing Louis fervently, reaching his damp hand back to finger Louis.

He blindly follows the divot in Louis' back down to his hole.

He pulls back, giving Louis a look, before kissing him again and slipping his finger in.

Louis gasps against Liam's lips, fingers squeezing Liam's hair tight in his fingers.  
"God, I love you." Liam mutters, finger slipping past his last knuckle.

He lets Louis acclimate, leaving his finger in for a few moments, before pulling it out and putting two in.  
"I love you more." Louis stammers, breath heavy against Liam's lips.

Liam opens Louis up with three fingers, deeming him stretched out enough for a comfortable fit.  
"Ready?" He asks, pressing one hard kiss to Louis' lips.  
"Fuck yes." Louis says, turning so his back's to Liam.

Liam reaches around, hands pressing into the glass of the shower door around Louis, sliding his d*ck in slowly.

Liam kisses the back of Louis' neck, feeling hot tight Louis is.

Fuck.  
"Move." Louis says after Liam's bottomed out.

Liam does as he's told, snapping his hips out and slamming right back into Louis.

Liam hopes this becomes a regular thing.

 _They_ become a regular thing, because Liam really, really loves Louis, as cliche as it sounds.

Liam's embarrassingly close to coming as he begins to wank Louis off in time with his thrusts.

Louis moans with each one, giving Liam the strength to hold on just a little longer.

And then they're both coming in time with each other, Liam's dick still inside Louis.

He strokes Louis lazily through his orgasm, still half thrusting.  
"Oh my God." Louis mutters, voice rough and so goddamn sexy.  
"Same." Liam says, pulling out of Louis with a smile.

Louis turns around and Liam kisses him again.  
"I love you." Liam says, lips barely brushing Louis'.  
"And I love _you_." Louis says and then grins.

Liam's never been so thankful for blood-sucking lice in his entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this wasn't shit. my first louisxliam thing so.
> 
> kudos would be the best. thanks for reading xx


End file.
